Day Sixteen, 2025

 Daily Walk

Sometimes on my way home I think about all the things I'm going to accomplish when I finally arrive.

I'll start with a healthy meal that the family will try and be surprised they love, we'll all tidy up while they chat about their days and open up about life.  Once they've headed upstairs I will read and be able to ignore any screen distraction if J decides to watch the game.  Soul dog will be at my side while I drink kombucha or tea and we'll head out for a walk.  On the walk, it's just us.  Walking near the river and no other people or dogs to cause her reactions until we get back home and get back to the book (and the snuggles) until bedtime.  An evening peppered with kids popping in to chat.  I head to bed early and read while I sip my water until I feel sleepy then turn out the light listening to old time radio programs while I fall asleep.

The world I've created for myself goes more like this.

Finally get home after staying longer at work than I should.  The quiet ride home includes a podcast to shut off my working brain (but I'm still thinking about how in the heck I can possibly catch up tomorrow).  I arrive home to a meal that J has prepared with love and not many greens that tastes good and fills me up.  I clean up after dinner and load the dishwasher exactly the way I like it and usually hit the couch where I control the remote and watch anything I please (unless he's finishing up something).  J will go putter in the shop for a bit while I retain remote control & when he returns I'll still be there and he will fall asleep beside me (because his day starts much earlier than mine.  I will chat with the kids a bit on my way to bed, let soul dog out for a pee. go brush and go to bed.

It's not exactly as planned but it's giving me the power to wake up tomorrow and keep going.  Plus I've been adding a daily walk - even just around the block counts.

One day I will live my dream evening, read a ton and watch few screens.  At least I'm only doing it to recharge and not entirely to block my feelings like I was a year ago.

Progress, not perfection

C

Action VS Grief 

If I don't get out that door in 15 minutes I may lose the drive to keep up this streak