Day Twenty-Three, 2025

 Stepping Stones

I've just gotten home from another 12+ hour day and my first draft has been submitted for approval FINALLY.

I know that for the past year I've thrown myself into work for stay distracted from grief and try to accomplish a thing - more prosperity for the family so I can put worries about bills behind me.

We've suffered staff turnover which added training to my plate while I was learning.  There are character traits in the office that cause drama (and lead to staffing issues) then there's just work load - I've spent many months doing the work of more than one person while trying to teach others & we're closing an office in the next few months so I'm hoping the recent recruits stay & I can just focus on learning myself then delegation.

Fact is I've turned in my big monthly reports much later than my predecessor has all year (because I've been her and still doing my old job)  With all that whining complete - I'm scared I look incapable because the powers that oversee everything don't know me - I'm a cog in a wheel - big for my office but small globally.  So they don't know about All I do - they just see delays.

I've been working my ass off for over a year and I'm terrified its been for nothing.

So today's year end draft is as close to perfect as it can be meaning the accountants should find nearly nothing to adjust (I HOPE) and I can use the fact that I've saved the company so much money to launch into why the glass ceiling needs to raise up (there are no cracks in it yet).

I've been working this hard to prove the steps I plan to speak to when I request the next raise - sort of building my own path of stepping stones to the next level.  Only time will tell if I can convince them.

These late nights are over for the year is my goal - PLEASE LORD make that possible as J is quite mad thinking that I'm back to my old habits instead of the new year plan to leave on time daily.  The only thing that really matters is this family I've built but I'd like the money to create more carefree time with them.

I'm so sick of the money stress and I need to never live that way again.  What am I sacrificing to remove stress & is it worth it in the long run.  Please help them to be patient and understand what I'm trying to create for us.

C

Acton VS Grief