Day Twenty-Two, 2025

 So Freaking Cold

Cold hands, cold feet, cold shoulders...

Trying to step into a role and having to act on behalf of a superior who doesn't like to deliver harsh news will get you hated.  Being honest makes you approachable but breaks the bond with the superior.

Everyone is looking to place blame and not accept that other people have people to answer to and ultimately it isn't war games it's just daily inconsistencies in communication that cause misunderstanding because you can't say the whole truth or you put yourself in jeopardy.

When I was young (think teen) I read a lot.  Not the inspirational, not the educational, think Sweet Valley High.  Elizabeth, Jessica and the gang and all the plots they got up to (Thank you 'Francine Pascal').  I would read it and KNOW how easily things could be solved if they would just speak truth to each other about their feelings - before I knew how hard it can be to own your shit.  I would know that and think about how I would do it different.

I wouldn't feel torn because honesty is the best policy when it comes to doing something right.  I KNEW this from the safety of my bedroom, reading a book I either borrowed from the book-mobile or purchased with my babysitting money.  I had no thought of sub-plot or worries about paying my bills, keeping my job or climbing the opportunity ladder to more options.

It shouldn't be like this, cold shoulders while you climb a ladder alone, watching shit rain down on you that now one else wants to carry.  How can you delegate things like this without feeling cowardly I dont understand.

Maybe that's why I get all the work and only a portion of that pay grade.  C Suite Janitor/'Manager' - reporting for the shit show.

Maybe I could win the lottery so my kids won't need to feel these things.... probably won't make that kind of money with an honest days work - it's a real shame to know you're in the wrong job but feel helpless to move on because you make just enough now

Daily walk completed at least - dress for success (and to avoid frost bite)

C

Action VS Grief