Day Fifty-Four, 2025

 Food poisoning?

I am the gurl with the iron gut.  No decent sense of smell and a serious sense of waste-not-want-not added to having a mum who often got distracted while cooking (leading so occasionally burnt food and my love of condiments to make food taste the way I want it) from my upbringing has lead to me being able to eat many things other people would just throw away.  

We're not talking mold covered we're talking been in the fridge more than 3 days after cooking and just cut that bit off the bread.  After best before date if it looks ok.  Weird food combinations caused by not having many options; ex. corn flakes & cream cheese when I was younger, hummus and doritos if the mood strikes now.  Can't think of many others at the moment - trying to make this post quickly. because I think a mundane bowl of ramen last night has made me ill.  

Could this be food poisoning?

My guts are rolling doc & when I tried to buy new jeans this morning I may have destroyed a public bathroom.... think I might have a touch of something not friendly wreaking havoc in my guts

Is it nervous belly because I'm pretty sure I have to accomplish tomorrow at work in one day what I think should take 3-5 days...  Or, is it that I'm about to go on my first business trip and one of the planes is a plane and the other plane is a smaller plane??  Is it stress that I'm nervous to be alone with the person I'm travelling with?  Is it stress that I'm just plain-old going to miss my family & soul-dog?

It could be so many things all causing a reaction in my body.... I can't really solve any of them before hand or know the right thing to do ahead of time. 

I think I'm going to blame it on the ramen and go to bed, sometimes scapegoats (like an impossible for anyone else to ever come across - because I ate it all world, your welcome) are handy and no one was hurt other than my guts for my mean words.

Lastly, I heard this podcast the other day On Purpose with Jay Shetty talking about how much time is wasted talking about others and it really made me feel icky (yes, icky is the only appropriate word).  Going forward I need to only say things about people that I would say to them, in the same tone - this s going to be a huge learning curve.  Probably easier to start lifting my own body weight (THAT IS HARD TO DO).

Will I ever just be a friendly/good person all the time?  Must keep trying.  For now, sleep

C

Action VS Grief