Day Sixty-Two, 2025

 Missed Moments

It's been a week since life has been normal and everything has survived.  I have it in my head that things need to go a certain way or I'll let someone (myself included) down if I don't keep up but everything just keeps ticking along on it's own schedule.  No explosions, no catastrophes, just missed moments.

I wanted to blog each night I was away but by the time I finished the work day and got back to the hotel room there was just enough time to facetime J, text the kids and then get to sleep to do even more the next day.  I went to a part of the country I've never been to and survived all the flights only to accomplish zero sightseeing.  Honestly, I'd rather do that with J anyway so it's not a big deal, thought it still sucks.

I missed my sisters birthday, didn't log walks or drink enough water, I had drinks with dinner to take the edge off the mandatory socialising and basically couldn't sleep the past few nights so on top of all the pressure I feel I am tired and probably not firing as well as I normally would.

So far behind in work and worried that I'll never catch up but I do like a challenge.  I'm trying to treat all this like a game so it isn't slow torture.  I lost about 2 days travelling so I went in on Saturday and worked a full day in hopes of easing some stress but I still have so much to do.  The podcasts que'd up two podcasts about burnout and just as I was deciding to login to my work email from home to at least try to catch up on email sorting the podcast stated that we need defined shut down times so work doesn't become everything.  So I'm back to drawing a line and not actually working from home.  Tonight I'll be doing a brain dump do I can at least sleep.

Really hoping it won't always be like this and trying to find comfort in the progress made daily but I'm a month behind facing hurdles and no one I can ask for help.  Plus I want it all to be perfect

Tomorrow I'll go in early and make progress.

Hoping I can be interesting some day soon.

C

Action VS Grief